Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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