You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
