this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
