just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
