My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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