Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
