i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
