Im at strip club and am horny
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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