Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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