Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
