take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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