whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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