how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
