wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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