So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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