PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
