i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
