Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
