She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
