S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
