I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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