My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
