i would punch a child for taco bell
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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