Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
