i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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