ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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