the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
