I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
