the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
