Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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