my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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