I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
