you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
