I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
