I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
