Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
