somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
