Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
two words...techno handjob
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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