We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
