I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Randomize
