garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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