I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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