Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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