Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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