Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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