A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
