so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
