so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
