Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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