his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
